I am humbled. Last night I met the cast of the Listen to Your Mother show of Delaware during our read through. The stories you will hear if you come to the show on Mother’s Day are incredible, raw, and impactful. I’m not sure exactly how my playful tale of breastfeeding found its way into the mix, but I am going to relish every minute I get to spend with these vibrant women.
Never in my life have I heard such an amazing collection of words about Motherhood. Some of the stories are about being a Mother. Some of the stories are about having a Mother. The ones that touched me the most were about Mothers like mine. I did not write about her, but I heard her and relived moments with her through the other stories. I am not alone in this journey and I am not experiencing anything new. It is possible that I learned more about Motherhood in two hours than in the past two years.
Many of the stories are about death. For a very long time, I was afraid to die. The fear paralyzed me because I anticipated death in an unwelcome and untimely fashion. Even though Death has not been a prevalent visitor in my life, it has been impactful. I do not know my maternal Grandmother because she died of cancer when my Mom was nine years old. We didn’t talk about it much and to this day I am hestitant to broach the subject. I have learned that in the absence of knowledge, fear grows.
I feared many things before becoming a Mother. I was afraid of birth, divorce, pain, poverty, loss of income, worms, and the outdoors. The ability to live through a setback or time of uncertainty was a mystery to me. Above all, I was afraid to die and leave behind my sweet daughters. My response to the void of knowledge was to devour books on the subjects. What started as a long, slow quest for understanding has turned into a snowballing transition into a new lifestyle. I realized that all this time, my fear of death was keeping me from living.
Right now, I am fortunate for many things. Most of all, my family. I am not afraid any more because I have an understanding of many things. Most of all, I understand that life is unexpected. The more I learn and understand a great many things, the more I have discovered that I do not need to know everything to have a satisfactory life. I just need to be in the moment. When we satisfy our most basic needs first, everything else is a gift. That is our journey. A simple quest for water, nourishment, and shelter has blossomed into the most beautiful life.