Poop

The law of cloth diapering appears to be:

As soon as the laundry begins, the child will poop.

No matter what time of day I start the laundry, I can be sure that the next diaper will be full of poo. Some days are worse than others. Take, for instance, today. No sooner did I delay my early load of laundry, than Hannah greeted me with a load in her pants. I smugly thought I was ahead of the curve as I plopped the dainty, compact poo into the toilet and started the laundry. For once, I was experiencing diaper serendipity! I couldn’t have been more wrong.

toddler poopEach diaper throughout the day became progressively worse. In total, there were five diapers with poop in them today, each of a distinct and very different sort. The second detestable diaper came predictably as soon as the washing machine started the pre-rinse. It did not ruin my high spirits though, because I could easily toss it in for the wash cycle. The third undesirable diaper occurred while I was wearing Audrey, about 20 minutes before she was due to wake up from her peaceful slumber. If I laid her down she would undoubtedly wake up, so I opted to crouch next to Hannah for a standing diaper change since I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I was completely unprepared, so I raced back to the diaper supplies and loaded up on extra wipes and washcloths. By the time I got her all cleaned up Audrey woke up anyway, so I changed her, too. When it comes to diapers in this house, there is never a dull (or dry) moment.

A little bit later Hannah and I started talking about her doll that we now use to demonstrate potty routines. She eagerly walked to the bathroom proclaiming, “poop!” So, I followed her in and got ready to watch her act out how to help her doll use the potty. To my surprise, she started to attempt to use the potty herself. I was so excited to help her along that I ripped off her diaper and another poop spilled right onto the floor. OMG gross! Of course I was wearing Audrey again so I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off collecting wash cloths, wipes, and cleaning supplies all while trying to prevent Hannah from getting poop on the back of her dress. In the midst of all this madness, I had to simultaneously entertain Hannah with the narrative of what I was doing to keep her from creating her own entertainment in the bathroom. That usually consists of her taking whichever child potty accessory is available and splashing it in the toilet bowl.

At this point, I was totally pooped. I literally sighed and collapsed on the couch for a few minutes before making dinner. I casually considered not feeding the kid since she was obviously filled to the brim, but reconsidered when she set off to scale the bar stool on her own in pursuit of the source of the smell coming from the kitchen. We polished off a meal and got ready to go upstairs to take a bath. Once again, I opened a poopy diaper and had no choice but to shrug it off.

It never ceases to amaze me that a child so cute can produce something so foul so frequently. This is not one of the finer moments of Motherhood, but this is real. Parents spend up to thousands of dollars on poop solutions without batting an eyelash because we can’t stop it from happening. Some days it feels like I’m up to my elbows in it. If you feel that way too, you’re not alone.

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