I clucked up by using curse words around my kids. My mouth has not been very clean. If I had a bar of Organic soap for every time that I cursed around my kids, I would have a lot of soap. I saw it coming, too. My husband is a sailor after all. I always thought, “At least I don’t curse as much as Zac!” Well, it finally bit me in the sass. Luckily, Hannah misinterpreted my lingo and has adapted a much sweeter word into her vocabulary.
I’m having a hard time wrangling Hannah while wearing Audrey. Usually around 4 PM, I just hit that breaking point where I can’t use the ‘wonderful Mommy script’ anymore. I can only explain to Hannah, “Mommy doesn’t like you to climb the furniture” while blocking her and redirecting her to a new activity so many times before my inner voice takes over and snaps. Generally this is because Audrey has just pulled my nipple with her in a graceful swan dive out of my arms. My tension gets the better of me, and as Hannah reaches for a dangerous object like the knives after precariously climbing the bar stool, I lose it. I’ve said s.h.i.t. in front of my kid more times than I care to admit and she learned. But, as with most things I imagine she will learn from me, she has interpreted it in a better way. Hannah thinks I said ‘SIT.’
Now, when Hannah reaches her dangerous perch or climbs the dinner table, she announces, ‘SIT’ and plops down on her bum. I have to say that I think it’s awesome that she interpreted my curse word like this. First of all, she’s not saying it the bad way so I won’t get a mean glare in public. She’s also sitting down and preventing herself from injury. Now that I’ve learned my lesson, I can start spelling out curse words like the smart Moms do. How else will I get my husband to turn off the d.a.m.n. TV when the kids are in the room?
I know that just by writing this, I’ll have lost the magical power of the ‘sit’ word, but it was great while it lasted. So I have to ask. How do you keep your vocab clean around the kids? Do you use silly words to replace bad words or do you just not say them?